Sunday, 15 February 2015

The lynchean lab of Dr. Sophie (Sexologist)

An automatic sliding door lets you in. The receptionist: a delicate woman in her early 20ties, blond bob in a tailored men's suit.
“I have..” you start. She seems to be staring into space. Grey eyes.
“Hello”, you say. She still doesn't seem to see you. “I have..” you start again. She suddenly wakes up. “ appointment with Dr. Sophie” you stumble.
“Oh! John? I have heard a lot about you.” Her voice is soft and without substance. “Take a seat.” A white room. An aquarium. The National Geographic and Psychology Today. You are a bit nervous, so you go to the loo. Instead of toilet paper, pages ripped out of a book. You recognize “50 shades of grey”. You smile and regret that you don't have to take a shit right now.
Then the scratchy loudspeaker: “John, treatment room please, John.” The politeness in that voice was 'learned', you could hear through a very different tone.
You open the door and are flabbergasted. The 'treatment room' is completely empty except two chairs and a little table. It's got a strong chemical smell and it's walls are padded with soft white material. Doctor Sophie is wearing a white lab coat loosely over a military uniform. It's got holes in it and her hair is kind of messy. And she is sweaty. You had relied on her reputation but now you have second thoughts..she hasn't suddenly gone mad, has she?
She looks straight into your eyes. With a voice cold as steel, she says: “Take of your clothes.” You start undoing your zip. She stares with an intensity that makes you feel embarrassed and exposed. “Sit down and fill in this form.” The paper has stains on it and is crumpled. You recognize a pen from a private Hotel in London. The questions were very detailed. Like “When did you first have sex?” “Was it a boy or a girl” “How old were you?” “How old were they?” “Which nationality?” “Did they make noise and if, what type?” “Did they have body hair?” “Did you cuddle afterwards?” “Did anyone hear you?” “Did you feel embarrassed?” “What exactly did you do to them?” “What did they do to you?” And then more and more questions about when you first felt sexual arousal and who was present, when you first touched yourself and how exactly you did it.
You complain “But this is endless!”
Doctor Sophie replies with all the calmness in the world: “Yes, my dear, these questions are precise. But you agreed on helping all those people who are ill and suffering. You are contributing to a significant scientific research.”
So you went on working through page number 16. All this time she had stared at you incessantly. Watched every small contraction of you facial muscles. Analysed you. Penetrated you with her eyes.
Two hours later, you had finished. Your anger kept you from feeling what was underneath: a turn on from something you didn't want to be turned on at all.
She looked at each page for no more than a second and then crammed them into the pocket of her lab coat. She laughed loudly and was clearly making fun of you.
She opened the door a crack and called: “boi!” The receptionist came in. Her hair had shifted- it was a obviously a wig- and you could catch sight of a shaved head covered with electrodes. In a sacred manner, she was carrying a steel tray with electronic devices on it. They looked like as if someone had made them in their own garage.
“Knees!”, Doctor Sophie said. Her beauteous body dropped instantly. What a devotion!
“Good boi!” Doctor Sophie padded her head with deep care.
“Boi, measure the penis width!”
The bois' delicate fingers put a laser device with a steel ruler, that had its batteries attached with tape around your shaft. “2.5” she said. “Ok. Now the arousal-metrum, boi.” The boi attached electrodes to your temples, neck, nipples, belly and bum. The boi let out a sigh when she inserted something cold into your ass. The boi covered your balls with little pricks, each one attached to a cable. Then, the boi rolled in a mortuary slab. Doctor Sophie indicated with her eyes that you were supposed to lie on it. As if hypnotized, you placed your body on the cold surface. Flexible metal, like from a knights armour, was strapped around your limbs and neck. Finally a steel cube with a hole in it big enough to put an arm through was well-placed around your cock. Your body was covered in nests of cables. “Boi, is everything connected?” The fragile woman bowed to Doctor Sophie. “Go!” You had anticipated a shock but there was no pain. “16”, Doctor Sophie was reading a meter. “Boi, you must take notes!” The assistant was sweating fear. She fiddled with her vest and pulled out a pen and then wrote “16” on her arm. Oh God, what did you get into? Were these women actually mad? “Doctor Sophie” you started “uh..can you confirm that this lab is licensed and monitored by the authorities?” Doctor Sophie held a piece of paper in front of your nose and said: “Is that proof enough?” She shrugged: “I happen to know what the head of the administration is into.” Oh, 'that' smile. She continued: “Do you really think, that I wouldn't be careful- now that the fun has just started? Do you really think, you are worth all the hassle of having someone dispose your body and clean up your files?” Now that was humiliation!
“We are down to 2”, Doctor Sophie said as if nothing had happened. The boi wrote “2” on her arm. You really were just a study object for her. You thought, you deserve a better place in the food chain. You suddenly hated it. You wanted to leave. Something told you that negotiation or blackmail were useless and freeing yourself from those straps? Impossible. The only way was to spoil it for her. Not showing any reaction. But there it was again. Fuck you couldn't help it! Below all these feelings slumbered a mighty turn on.
Sophie turned the knob. “We are up to 11”, her cold voice. The boi wrote “11” on her arm.
You tried to think about things that turn you off. Imagining ice on your cock. But it was there. Doctor Sophie crossed her legs and put them on the table. And now pulled out a bag of crisps! She seriously started eating them, while you were having the turn on of your life! She must have turned the knob again, because the feeling was actually increasing. And then she..yawned! You were bursting, your whole body was on fire. She didn't look at you. You wanted her attention so much. “Boi”, she said “have you found the receipt?” “For the taxes, Doctor?” “Yes” “No, I haven't.” “Huh..the accountant is coming in on the 21st, I think.” You were so turned on, that you could hardly listen or see. But there she was, making small talk! You wanted to shout. She had finished her crisps, got up and chucked the empty bag on the floor. She opened the door and said: “Boi, do you know if there is anything good in the cinema tonight?” She left without giving you a glimpse. Oh, how you wished you could control yourself! The last thing on earth you wanted right now was to come. But you did. You came. It was big. You shouted. While you were riding the wave, Sophie came back, ignoring you completely: “Boi, after he is finished, I want you to clean up as fast as you can.”
++disclaimer: Don't practice BDSM without professional equipment and without an introduction by a professional. All real life sessions with Dominatrix Commander Sophie are negotiated detailed beforehand and can be stopped any time with a safe-word.++

Monday, 5 January 2015

My night out with a martial artist

I went to the Military Museum in London. Don't know why on earth I started with the Holocaust. It was pretty basic, so I got bored. But then I did need a coffee. There was this woman standing at the bar. She slowly bent backwards and- fainted. Her boyfriend was just looking startled. But our hero darted from the other side of the room and caught her. He let himself fall on the floor underneath her, held her head, then turned her onto her side within a second, shouted at her in Japanese. I recognized my type of martial arts. The woman woke up.
My paper cup in my hand, I drifted over there and said: ”Rei.” He greeted back. His blue eyes stared straight into mine. He was breathing heavily and that wasn't because of the little exercise. “I am bored”, I said. “Shall we wander around the canons and other nasty little objects?” He smiled from left to right.
We were just pretending to look at the bombs, rockets and drones. Instead, we were checking out each others muscles, bones structure, movements. Scanning for weaknesses.
“Where do you live?”, I asked. “Around the corner,” he said in his broad Irish dialect. “Let's go”, I said. We walked in silence. After a while he stopped and pulled out a key from the front pocket of his tight jeans. It's a guys' flat. It smelled a bit, wasn't really clean. There was no decoration and no clutter. Things were a bit worn out, the colours dark. No TV. He doesn't spend much time here, I thought. “Your flatmate is not at home?”, I asked. I sat on a chair, disregarding the couch. He offered me beer and I pretended to drink it. He underestimates me that much, I think. That's good. I said: “Give me your spare gee. Take a shower and put yours on.” Minutes later he came in, fully in white, with his belt tied around his waist as if it was a part of his body. I had changed as well. “Walk to the bedroom”, I said. I pushed him onto the bed landing on top of him. We were so in sync, it felt like one body instead of two. “Uh”, he exclaimed in lust. “Kiss my neck”, I said. His tongue pressed passionately over my neck muscles. I felt my gee getting soaked with my pussy juices. The bastard had calculated that moment and suddenly was on top of me, squatting on my chest and pressing his thighs against my arms besides my head. “Free yourself”, he said with a fucking smile. I tried to push his legs away, but my arms weren't stronger than his legs. He inclined his upper body forward so that I couldn't reach it with my legs. I turned my body to one side so that he had to put an arm to the side to keep his balance. That was the second where my feet shot forward, locked under his armpit and I was pulling him backwards. My other leg was trying to catch him like a tentacle. He lifted my arm and twisted it sidewards. Huh! He fell for the trap. Because that meant breaking the head lock he had me in. Before he noticed, I had grabbed his legs and spread them and was now on top of him. He tried to squeeze his legs and put me into head scissors, but my elbows were preventing that. Since he couldn't win against my legs with my arms, he opened my belt with my teeth and exposed my chest. I hadn't anticipated that and my whole body was tingling. It gave him a second, in which he managed to push away my forearms with his arms. He wanted to put me in scissors, but I quickly stood up. He grabbed my calf with his hands and pushed my kneecap sideways with his sole. I had to let myself fall but while doing so kicked him in the balls. So I had a second, where his brain wasn't working. I locked his arm with my legs and pulled. He didn't want a broken arm, so he tapped. So I had one wish free. I opened his trousers and pulled them down a bit, so that he couldn't move his legs any more. I used his disappointment to turn him on his front and sat on top of him. From there it was pretty easy. I managed to fish the strap on out of my handbag. Why did I bring that to the Museum anyway? It took light acrobatic skills to put it on while I had him in a lock. He moved his head violently but that did not loosen my lock. I put my arms around his upper body, locked them and squeezed. Then, he started talking Irish, because he knew that hearing his sexy voice would weaken me. Damn, he pushed one thigh so strongly against mine, that I tripped over. But I still had his head in a lock. He gathered all his weight in his head it seemed and pushed against my left boob. I had to turn to the side, if I didn't want to get injured. But apparently that had worn him out, because I managed to pressed his arms down and push against his back. He had to let go, if he didn't want his shoulder pulled. He lied on his front and I pushed my strap-on up his ass. He was well stretched, so it didn't hurt him. He shook his upper body violently but I knew that he was enjoying it. Between our bodies a wet film. We were both breathing heavily. The strap-on pushing against my clit made me come quickly. I was pushing my hips with all my strength. I put his head in a lock. Then he exploded. Shouting loudly. And right before he finished, I came again, also shouting, seeing the first world war cannon in front of me for some reason. “What a nice trip to the museum”, he said catching his breath. “Bring me a double shot on ice”, I replied.

Friday, 28 November 2014

Commander Sophie having fun in prison

It was the year 2103. After the google coup in 2020 the “sane people” established a dictatorship. Anyone who was caught practising BDSM or even sex, was put into prison. The prisons were gigantic and they were many.
I was officially an inmate and I had a little cell where I pretended to live if there was an inspection. But unofficially, I was Commander Sophie and I had taken over the old basketball court. A part of it was a workshop, where the best designers were working for me to keep up with my demand of wardrobe and kinky tools.
I liked keeping muscular women. They were wearing jump boots, latex hot pants and nothing on their upper body except a camouflage net. Two female guards brought in an old man and threw him on the floor. “That's enough”, I said. They were trained to go back to their positions besides the door, squatting while having their legs spread apart. The old man was coughing. “Shut up!”, I said. He pressed his lips together, swallowing the cough, his body in spasms. “Stand up!”, I shouted. His body was like a melted wax figure. I lifted up some skin folds and run my leather gloved finger underneath them. That amused me. He was trembling. His eyes looking up to me. I was much taller than him and had heels on as well. My mini skirt was one of those advanced materials, that changed gradually from leather to rubber. My corset was made of soft mirror expet. My arms were in military sleeves and my cap was a black shiny one with the insignia of our army on it.
Despite of his age, no one had ever touched his cock. The “sane people” drugged the air with pain killers and something, that would repress your libido. And we had to go outside every morning for counting. If you didn't show up, they would find you due to your sensor. I lifted his cock with my cane. He was in shock. “What have I done? Are you some kind of Mafia?”, he whined. I started walking while speaking: “We are a secret army called the “The Bliss”. We kidnap people and force you to have sex and BDSM. We want to save you.”

“I neither know what BDSM means nor sex.”, he said anxiously. My loud laughter filled the space. My single tail snatched on his thigh. It left a beautiful red stream. “I have never felt this sensation before.”, he whispered looking down to his erect cock. “That's because we generate our own oxygen in this prison. You are free of drugs. Over the next days, I am going to do a number of things to you. First, I am going to baptise you.” I made him lie down and poured water over his nose and mouth. I stopped when his chest contracted. He gasped: “Where am I? I thought I would die.” “Uh-huh, that's exactly where I wanted you to be. Between life and death, so we can start anew. Your life will make sense now. You will experience pleasure in a way, that you never thought was possible.” “Yes, Commander” , he said mesmerized. I put on a strap-on with a decent sized cock. I threw him on a table and ordered the female guards to pin him down. “I am going to take your virginity now”, I said. I fucked him. He was shouting and trying to free himself. “Bitch number 22”, I shouted. A young Indian guy showed up at my feet. “Suck his cock”, I ordered. I was sweating and pushing hard. I announced: “This is called anal orgasm.” He screamed of pleasure when he came. The first orgasm in his life. “Girls”, I said and they let him loose. He sat at my feet, hugging my thighs. He cried tears and said “thank you, Commander, thank you...” I kicked him away and shouted “Who has allowed you to move?? You will come to your senses after a couple of hours being tied up. Then, we shall continue with some proper cp.” The girls took him to the back, where there was a long row of prisoners tied up in spread eagle position. Some bitches had so suck their cocks and make sure, they were always hard. If there was a danger of someone coming, the girls would come and kick their balls.

Monday, 13 October 2014

A freezer box, two strong beautiful women and a human toy - part 2

You can't see anything but darkness. You feel quite uncomfortable in the small box. You hear rumbling noises. The two women are laughing. Nothing is happening. What a shit situation to be in! Time doesn't seem to pass for you. The straight jacket of time. The car stops. What if they get distracted by some hot guy and forget about their slave in the freezer box? But there you go. You are being lifted up. There is a lot of shaking and you bumped your head. Finally, the lid comes off. Fresh oxygen. It is so bright, that you can't see anything. A blindfold is put on you quickly. There is a strong smell of animals. You are put down on spiky damp straw. Something heavy is put around your neck and wrists. You hear metal chains rattling. The blindfold is ripped off. You can see the muscular calves of mistress in her killer heels. She says in the most normal voice ever: “It is your choice: give me the names of the members and you are free to go. Otherwise I will put the gag on and leave you here for an entire hour.” You put your head down, because you didn't want to be enticed by that beautiful woman. She stuffs your mouth with straw, then tapes it. It tickles your throat and makes you gag. You swallow your vomit. You are blindfolded again. You hear her sadistic laughter, steps, the closing of a lock. And then, only the pig. You shout but hey, you have got a mouthful of straw. You punch but your wrists are chained to your collar and it burns around your neck. You can feel the metal rubbing against your bone, breaking the skin. After a long time, you try to sleep. But one thought keeps spinning in your head. How are they going to torture you. God, they must be capable of a number of things. You are thirsty. You want to be over and done with it. But not waiting around like an idiot. In fact, the pig seems to have a great life compared to yours. If you only could be a pig. What type of problems did you have yesterday compared to today? It seems a lifetime away. And how did you waist your time! You were always so busy with the resistance, that you didn't see further ahead. Now you have time and that's a horrible feeling. Because you can see your life waisted. You hear footsteps. She turns you around with her foot. You are now lying on your back. The next thing you know, you have got a huge plug up your ass. The pain wakes you up. She orders you to stand up. Your back is getting covered in needles. You feel spaced out. And the pain. They are pulling the needles. Wait they can't be pulling them, they must be attached to something. Like strings, they have connected every single needle to rope and attached it somewhere in the room. Now, she puts needles in your balls. But not coming in and out on the surface, stabbing them straight down. You will never have children. But does it matter now? The pain diminished. Now, someone was sucking your cock. Oh so gently and skilfully. But if you get horny, your balls will harden and that will bring back the pain. You tried not to be aroused. You could smell her and now she was running her finger gently over the needles. Oh, how not to get turned on. You had to look and see who was sucking you. But when you move, the needles will hurt. Oh Christ, that wasn't worth it. It was a bold guy, you couldn't see his face, only the black hair on his back. He was wearing the same collar like you. You want to come so badly. But you would move your whole body. And that would cause more pain than you could bear. You would faint. The tied needles would slice your skin while you fall. Mistress says: ”I am going to rescue you.” Blows hit your back, probably a flogger. Oh, so she is rescuing you with a flogger. God, the pain. But it does the job and keeps you from coming. It stops. She says in an angelic voice: ”I am sorry that this is happening to you. I don't want it but you know, that it has to happen.” But her eyes disclosed her. She loved it. “If you give me the names now, you can go home.” You try to say something like “no”. They untie the strings from the needles. And make you lie on your front in the feeding tube. But it smells like shit. Oh, you are lying in pig shit. The are doing something with the needles. And then you feel the tingling sensation. Electrics. The soft voice again: “And what happens if I turn this button full on?” Thousands of needles sting your body. Your whole body is pain. You see flashes of light. You want to scream, but no sound comes out. There is only this intense feeling. There isn't anything else in the world. And then blackness. The space between time, between the worlds. You hear a voice: “What is your name!” a demanding female voice. Name? You ask yourself. I don't know my name. Where am I? What country are we in? “Jorge Villa-Lobos” Her lips part in astonishment. She knows that you have said it. Your real name. She could asked everything. You would have told her. But she didn't want to finish you. Nothing mattered now. Anything was ok. They could do whatever they wanted with you. It was as if this wasn't you.

Tuesday, 16 September 2014

A freezer box, two strong beautiful women and a human toy - part one

You are at home. You don't know when we are coming, but we will come within the next 2 days. You make yourself a tea. You hear a rattling noise. Your body is in shock. Was it the turning of a key? You had strict orders not to eat anything but these couple of old toast within the two days. You listen to music, but then you turn it off. You don't want to be taken by surprise, you want to be prepared for when we come. You try to read. A book about accidents and how it is a turn on. Your mind wanders to Sophie's mean smile, to her blond soft hair. You have done everything she ordered: you have shaved your genitals, made an enema, brushed your teeth, cut your hair short, been in chastity for 3 weeks. There was no chastity belt, just whenever you felt like you couldn't hold back, you came to see Sophie for a proper caning. That helped. You walk up and down in your flat. You check again, if you have missed any hair to shave. That would be a catastrophe! You smell your armpits and oh, no! They smell like fear. You can't disappoint mistress so you take a quick shower. You love the hot water running down your body. Uh.. it's so nice. Suddenly you feel a hand around your neck, choking you! You use both of your hands to fight the grip, but she was faster and had put your neck in a lock with both of her arms intertwined. There was no escape from this one. Another hand pulled your balls. Oh god, it was like fireworks after all this time of abstinence. A voice said slowly: “Now you better step out of the shower, bitch.” You figured, that fighting is no use and do as you were told. Sophie throws a towel to you and shouts:”Dry your ugly body!” And when you start doing it, Sophie pulls your hair hard and says slowly:”Now, bitch, you have to do this fast, or you are going to upset me.” Then, the two beautiful women lift you up into the air and towards a big freezer box! You beg: “No, not that. Please! Not in there.” But the only effect it has is that it turns Sophie on. Fearfully you look into her eyes. She tilts her head in mild amusement. You run for it. But you don't get as far as a meter. Damn, she is quick. Sophie locks your arms and carries you while the other woman locks her arms around your feet. You try to kick, but they have got you gripped. You struggle with all your force but you feel the inevitable happening. You are folded into the box. Tears run down your cheeks. The lid closes. Then it starts moving, you are being lift up by those fit and strong women. You hear a door being shut. Then, street sounds. Another door being shut: you must be in a car. The engine starts and you feel it moving, stopping and going. You hear Sophie's voice: “You better check on that piece of meat. We want it fresh.” The lid is being lifted and a gloved hand touches your balls. You get hard instantly. You sigh. You hear the other woman's voice: “Yes, the worm is still alive.”
-to be continued-

Wednesday, 4 June 2014

rewriting the rules

I have read the book "Rewriting the rules. An integrative guide to love, sex and relationships" by Meg Barker. I really recommend it and if you read it, I would like to know your thoughts about it. The book works out what "the norms" are for our sexual life, our romantic life and friendships. We know, that there is the ideal body, relationship, sex life, that we try to fullfill and - fail. If we fail lots, we are considered abnormal or mentally ill. If we fail a little bit, we might think, we have got some neurosis, but we hopefully get away with it. Now, BDSM is still on the official list of psychological problems. Can you believe it??? Something so wonderful, so brave, so eye-opening, so blissfull, so feeling-life and love!
God, i could "cure" myself. I have been there. I had shut down all contact to BDSM and become normal. Normal sex, normal monogamous relationship. Yes, I thought about "it" every day, but I put "it" aside like a bad dream. I could have done that all my life. No problem. But why would I shut down life?
The truth is that there exists only madness. In all variations. And one type of madness is chosen to be the "healthy".
Ok, we know all that. But what was new for me in the book was how it makes lists from normal to abnormal with all gradations in between. Let's take the ideal model body, the nice body, the okish one, the ugly one and the horrible one. Now, I would be turned down by a model agency. And yet, people tell me everyday: "I like your strong body. I don't like skinny girls." I don't match the ideal body and I don't want to loose weight- and I am really honest here. I could have a few more muscles to be closer to my ideal. But ideal means, letting my body be itself. 
Ok, once we let go of the normative, then we have to be careful not to follow new normatives of the underground cultures. It's not a competition like: the one who can take most pain wins. Or the more extreme, the better person I am. No, this is about finding out what you want, what you are. Relax and look at your choices. I can read body language and..can I read minds? Mostly.
But, you might say, isn't this about the things I, Sophie, want to do. What I want is to use you, humilate you, hurt you. I get turned on, if you suffer. If kissing my feet is boring for you, then my needs are not met and I don't want you to do that. It takes two people to get there, to create something more than your little self, to connect to the animals in us, the godess in me and the follower in you and leave that narrow-minded culture of norms behind.

Friday, 16 May 2014

interview with Commander Sophie by couple's corner

1] What is the worst body hygiene problem you had with someone?
I do a lot of strap-on, and sometimes people don't wipe properly. But then, I am putting my gloved finger up their ass I don't have a problem with that.
2] What misconceptions do people have about scat? People have unprotected sex with someone who never got tested, but they think, from scat they will catch something. I didn't have unprotected sex in my life and my hygiene is on a hospital standard. Whenever I have been for a holiday in India or so, I get tested afterwards.
3] When other women find out what you do are they jealous? Most of them admire me and ask questions. Some feminists think, I am exploited..haha! They must be jealous!
4] What do women come to you for most? The same that men come for.
5] You are known for being into every hardcore fetish except Roman Showers, why no Roman Showers? I tried, but I don't know how to make myself vomit. You are welcome to email me suggestions.
6] What are your favorite sex toys? Strap-on, flogger, my heels
7] What are your favorite sex outfits? I love wearing military uniforms. I just look natural in them.
8] Do you have some men who come on real strong then get scared and want to stop? I had it twice. Both absolute newbies. One was scat and he literally run away. The other one was not responding verbally any more, so I stopped and made him drink a coke.
9] What do couples come to you for most? Female clients are exposed to a more stigma for paying for sexual services, which manifests in them not feeling safe- so they bring their boyfriend. Other couples are together since a long time and want a turn on. Others are in a D/s relationship, so usually the man wants me to dominate his sub (mostly, because he secretly fancies me) while he is watching or dealing with her alone in the dungeon afterwards.